The past year was filled with many changes and challenges as well as lessons and opportunities.
My live-in boyfriend abruptly ended our relationship. To make matters worse, he started dating one of our mutual friends almost immediately afterwards. (I had suspected she was interested in him for months and her interactions with my ex at social functions made me uncomfortable). It’s hard not to believe they had something going on before he suddenly came home and announced it was over between us and falsely accused me of cheating on him. I was so confused.
To make matters worse at the same time, two of my closest friends turned their backs on me, with one spreading false and malicious rumors about me and the other believing lies about me, partaking in gossip and aligning herself with my ex and his new girlfriend. I felt ganged up on and the victim of mean girls (which is ironic being how much I’ve written about the topic). I unexpectedly moved twice within three months due to the breakup. I started my own business after leaving my comfortable job in a year full of firsts. Then the pandemic happened and my 9-year-old beloved French bulldog passed away.
Over the years I’ve gotten highlights, and I continued to go a bit blonder here and there.
During the breakup, I wanted a major change and went much blonder – way too blonde for my skin tone.
The older woman with whom my ex entered into a serious relationship at lightening speed infiltrated our friend circle with her own opportunistic agenda and pretended to be my friend. I’m not surprised she broke the girl code. Thankfully, blonde hair is all we had in common.
Obviously during the pandemic no one was getting their hair colored or cut. But it gave me time to get comfortable with my natural color.
I realized that I actually liked being a brunette. I couldn’t wait to make the change permanent. It also symbolized the end of feeling like someone I wasn’t and the start of a new chapter of my life.
On the hair transformation day, my longtime hairstylist had her work cut out for her. Half of my hair was brunette and half of it was blonde. The final result was exactly what I wanted.
I feel like myself again in so many ways. I was never meant to be a blonde, and I was never meant to be with my ex or friends with that woman.
Returning to my roots is much more than a hair color for me. It’s returning to the free spirit and fun, kind person that I am who always tries to make people laugh.
Over the past year I rediscovered myself and realizing I wanted to be a brunette again was just a small part of my self-healing journey.
Being blonde was different but it was a lot of maintenance, just like my relationship and neither were sustainable long term. My ex and ex-friend are well-suited for each other. Their selfish actions showed their true colors. I’m thankful I found out who they really are, I just wish my intuition had kicked in earlier. I know she regularly reads my blog, which I find odd, but maybe she can learn something about being a real entrepreneur and good, loyal friend.
There are just things that people who have empathy and common decency do not do. At the top of the list would be not dating someone in your friend circle immediately after a breakup (or ever).
I share this story with you to show that we all may look like we’ve got it together, but so many people do not. You never know what someone is dealing with behind the scenes. And it’s important to be kind to each other.
Thankfully, I have been able to forge closer relationships with many of my friends who stood by me over the past year.
They say you find out a lot about someone after a breakup or divorce. Today I cannot even imagine that I was in a relationship with someone capable of the things he said and did to me after he ended our relationship. I thank God every day that I did not wind up with him and that these so-called friends are out of my life.
I know they say blondes have more fun, but I’m not so sure about that. I’ll let you know…