Choose people who choose you is such a simple statement but it’s so hard for many of us to follow it.

I’ve learned the hard way the importance of being very careful about who I allow into my life both personally and professionally. 

I’ve also learned what I will tolerate and how I deserve to be treated by others. If I feel like I’m being disrespected or treated badly, I disappear instead of trying harder to make them like me.

Choosing the people who choose you involves reevaluating your current relationships in addition to establishing healthy self-care and learning about personal boundaries.

It also involves finding the strength to distance yourself from those who make you feel bad and don’t appreciate you. Sometimes you just have to – that’s protecting yourself and having personal boundaries. Sometimes this is temporary and sometimes it’s not.

It is about saying “I will not give you time and attention if you don’t treat me with respect and give me these things in return.” Despite knowing all of this it’s still so hard for many of us actually put it in practice even when someone has disappointed us.

This is the first installment of my Lawyers Who Lead series, which will feature insights and advice from a broad range of lawyers, and will showcase their career paths and what they think it takes to be successful as a lawyer today. 

I’m excited to feature Daniel (Dan) Shulman in the Lawyers Who Lead series. Chicago-based Dan is an experienced intellectual property litigator and appellate lawyer at Vedder Price.

Dan brings a unique perspective and client-focused approach to his practice honed by over a decade serving as in-house as chief IP counsel for a multibillion-dollar conglomerate holding thousands of worldwide patents and trademarks.

In his bio, I love that Dan says his approach to his clients follows the Golden Rule – he treats his clients the way he expected to be treated by his own outside counsel. You can read Dan’s full bio and connect with him on LinkedIn.

Read more about Dan and his career path.

Janessa Shaikun has overseen marketing efforts at Baltimore law firm Franklin & Prokopik since March 2015. She currently serves as the firm’s Director of Marketing and Business Development

Janessa is