Motivation

Subscribe to Motivation via RSS

I know all of you are really busy with work, and and you probably feel like there are never enough hours in the day to get what you need to get done actually done while balancing your spouse, kids, dog, goldfish, sick parent, fill in the blank.

You likely have a daily/weekly must do and a would like to do list. I have both of those and unfortunately my would like to do list sits there uncrossed for months and gathering dust because something just has to give.

There are days when I can just respond to the high volume of emails I get each day – but I really try not to do that unless it’s a crisis situation – that alert at the bottom of my screen telling me I have a new email drives me absolutely crazy so that’s been turned off for a long time. I need time to think without interruption, which can be a luxury to get in a fast-paced environment where I work.

If you’re anything like me, you just wish you had more time to read over or edit a piece of your work and make it perfect – but you just can’t – and by the way, it will never be perfect! Because time is of the essence, and like I’ve said before, oftentimes, your good is good enough. 

My mentor and wise friend Wendy Bernero has always reminded me that happiness is a choice available to each of us and is crucial for our well being. She also told me that it’s okay to not be okay all of the time.

After the recent and abrupt ending of a relationship that forced me to move out of my home, she again said to me, “I know you’re sad now, but you can to choose to be happy.” She went on to tell me that I must choose it or else it could be very damaging to me professionally and personally.

You can be stuck feeling bad during bad times or you can choose to make hardships and the worst times of your life teaching moments and turn them into something positive. You’d be surprised just how resilient each of us are if we just believe it.

Also, happiness comes easier to some people and others must choose to be happy at certain points in our lives in order to turn the tide around or just to carry on and not to fall into a dark hole of despair.

I’m about to share a personal story that is not easy for me – but I’m doing it in the hopes that it helps others. Not everyone shares what’s going on with them personally with professional colleagues, but I want others to know that life is messy and no one is perfect – especially me, and so many of us are struggling with personal crises and it’s a miracle we are so high functioning! It’s about time we got real and stop making it seem like everything is fine when it’s not. I also wanted others who are struggling to know that they are not alone, and again, it’s okay to not be okay sometimes.

A wise friend of mine always says that I should assume good intent with everyone with whom I come into contact. I try to do this instead of making snap judgments and reacting in the moment, but it isn’t always easy to practice in real life.

For example, a couple of weeks ago I accidentally bumped someone with my ginormous handbag on the NYC subway. Her response was, well let’s just say not very nice and included a four-letter word. The old me would have retorted with something snarky, but the new me, who lately has been going through a lot personally and who keeps hearing the “assume good intent” words in her head on loop, simply apologized and wished her a better day. I instantly felt better. I was the bigger person and didn’t react negatively (woo hoo)! And more importantly I was kind, because I knew that her anger had nothing to do with me and rather was about something going on in her own life. If each of us was more empathetic toward each other, we would eliminate so much unnecessary conflict and drama.

I wanted to write about being kinder to others to remind myself and others because so many of us are carrying around heavy personal baggage on a daily basis that impacts us. In fact, it’s a miracle on some days that we can even function being saddled with this much baggage. It doesn’t matter how successful or old one is, everyone deals with personal and professional issues that affect our moods and impact our interactions with others. And while we don’t have control over what others do, we do have control over our own actions, how we deal with the cards we’ve been dealt and how we interact with others.